"i ll become the woman i dreamt to be and who cares who 'll like me"

i actually heard this last night at a silly tv series a greek one that we have here..but it was so cheesy it kind of made sense.
Today was not a good day..not at all.Yesterday was probably a hint to the storm ahead and there i had it today,out of the blue, a full blast storm.Thunder, insatiable wind, rain. Out of the fucking blue. Or maybe just in time before i went crazy..
Renovating a house can be a bitch, changing jobs also, trying to find yourself even more.Today i felt absolutely alone, something i cherish and enjoy about myself any day. Today was not this day.
I am sensing an extreme makeover in my soul and it is scaring the living hell out of me. However i am still walking towards the light, fear or no fear...

I really need to dedicate this blog to a person i would love to make my real friend..a person that i tapped on the shoulder, and said "hey can you be here for me for a bit?" and she was much more than i expected or thought. She is really great, and i must say the first time i met her, i thought to myself "what a strange distant creature that is"..the next time i saw her i thought "she is a little Yoda" and the next time i said "wow..she is great"

So to her i write this post, thanking her for simplifying the scariness, thanking her for probing me to find out, and thanking her for being real, and sometimes so blissfully silent. Because i am sick of people talking all the time in order to fill the gap of awkwardness and of silence, fearing their insecurity will be deafening..