And this could be both bad and good. That's exactly where i am now. I feel the positive-ness, innocence, freshness and anxiety of my 20 year old self. But i also feel the sense of not belonging of not being sure, just like 10 years ago, whilst finishing my BA in Oxford..I never thought 30 would be a momentum in my life, and thank god, i don't have the need to procreate or find the prince charming (fucking cinderella ruined women with that). But i do feel that at this point in my life, i am in absolute need of some sort of a guideline. Or as someone very cleverly put it recently, i am not so sure about my firm grip on this earth and until i am, i cannot involve actively other people in my everyday.
So there, against all prejudice, my ego is finally letting me admit i need from someone or something to show me the way. Especially when it comes to my professional life which has been twisting and turning like a crazy roller coaster for the past 6 months. So yeah..not so sure where i am heading. And also not sure why i am not going after my goals.. because i am afraid of failure or success? Either one seems quite frightening.
At least i am absolutely sure of the couch i chose, which means i probably wont be able to go on a decent restaurant or buy nice shoes for the next..decade. But what the heck, i ll have a cozy corner to contemplate my youth.
Well, i think this couch definitely needs this soundtrack..simply because i already bought a real fur throw to go with "it".or rather her.because you know, her name is Jean..
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