New Signs Old Scars

I love my past. I don't dwell on it. I love it. I feel blessed that i have stories to remember and so many people that have passed even for a second from my life. I feel sad that i can't remember all of them. I wish i kept a diary like many authors have done in the past. Talking about diaries, i am currently reading Susan Sontag's diaries. She was such a remarkable creature even when she was a child..

Anyway, there is something that happened a few weeks ago that made me realize stories are very powerful. Stories are the past, and people are afraid of their past, afraid to awaken the memories when recounting their past. I was with some new friends from twitter and everyone was telling their stories. They were giving little small fragments of their stories. They were afraid of the power of their stories, maybe they were even ashamed of their stories, maybe they were hiding the truth in their stories..i am not sure, probably all of these things. I was drunk and i was letting go of my stories pour out of my brain like a child that is showing her toys to her new friends. I was not ashamed of my toys. They were old, maybe a bit rough, maybe not sparkly enough, maybe chipped. But they were mine and they reminded me i have lived and now i am right here.
My friends thought i dwelled on the past, that i still look back...that i am not "over" things. They were interpreting me through their belief...through their fear. "How can she talk about her past like that?" "Why is she talking about the past?""Focus on the present"...It made me really sad. They couldn't understand i love my past, because it is past and gone forever. It wouldn't be so valuable to me for my here and now. The past is the scars from pain or passion, the wrinkles from troubles or laughter. This is why accepting the past and speaking fondly of it is actually the only way to go i think.. Just like old people do, talking about their past smiling...
These friends gave me this post a few weeks ago...and gave me these thoughts. These thoughts that were new signs, that made me realise how beautiful my old scars are...and how happy i should be that i carry them with pride. However they might look to others...